Recognizing Red Flags: When Your Child’s Behaviour May Need Support

As parents, we naturally become experts on our children, learning their routines, personalities, preferences, and quirks. But there are times when certain behaviours raise concern, not because they make a child “bad” or “broken,” but because they may signal a need for additional support. Behaviour is a form of communication, and when children are struggling to meet expectations at home, school, or in the community, it’s important to listen to what their behaviour might be telling us.

In the field of Applied Behaviour Analysis (ABA), we focus on observable and measurable behaviours, not diagnoses. We do not label children or pathologize their differences. Instead, we observe patterns of behaviour that may indicate a developmental concern or a skill gap, and we use evidence-based strategies to teach meaningful, functional skills. This post is intended to enlighten and inform, not to diagnose, but to help families recognize behaviours that may benefit from early intervention or support.

Many families come to ABA services after noticing a collection of behaviours that interfere with learning, social interaction, or emotional regulation. These behaviours may be subtle at first, or they may seem “typical” until they persist or intensify over time. Some of these red flags are supported by clinical research, while others are based on years of professional and lived experience supporting children with autism, ADHD, and related developmental differences.

Here are some common behavioural signs that may indicate a need for support:

1. Difficulty focusing or staying on task. A child may seem distracted, jump from one activity to another, or appear unable to tune out irrelevant stimuli. They may focus intently on something unrelated while missing the key information being presented. This can often be seen in children with attention-deficit concerns.

2. Frequent careless mistakes or missing details. This may show up as incomplete work, rushing through tasks, or overlooking important steps, even when the child is capable of the task.

3. Losing things or forgetting steps. Misplacing items like toys, books, or school materials may seem harmless, but when it becomes a pattern, it may suggest issues with working memory or executive functioning.

4. Fidgeting, moving excessively, or difficulty remaining seated. Children may constantly be on the move, climb furniture, squirm in their seats, or leave their spots during structured activities. This is often associated with hyperactivity.

5. Talking excessively or interrupting others. Children may speak out of turn, talk over others, or blurt out unrelated comments. While some children are naturally talkative, consistent impulsivity in conversation can make social interactions challenging.

6. Difficulty waiting for turns or following group instructions. Whether in games, classroom routines, or conversations, waiting is a skill that may need explicit teaching when impulsivity is present.

7. Tantrums and meltdowns. These intense emotional outbursts may occur when a child is overwhelmed, denied access to something, or asked to transition between activities. Understanding the function of the behaviour is key to addressing it effectively.

8. Flopping to the ground, refusing tasks, or eloping. These behaviours may reflect escape or avoidance of difficult tasks or sensory discomfort. Children may leave the room, bolt in public, or collapse to the ground when demands are placed.

9. Pacing, spinning, hand-flapping, or other repetitive motor behaviours. These actions are not necessarily harmful but may indicate sensory regulation needs or serve as a form of self-stimulation (known as “stimming”).

10. Repetitive speech or echolalia. Some children repeat lines from shows (scripting), echo what others say (echolalia), or speak in a way that seems disconnected from the current context.

11. Short attention span and task avoidance. A child may begin an activity but quickly disengage, become distracted, or require constant redirection.

12. Limited social interaction or difficulty engaging with peers. Children may prefer to play alone, struggle with turn-taking, or not respond to social overtures from others.

13. Difficulty initiating or maintaining conversations. A child may be able to speak but may not know how to begin, sustain, or respond in conversation. They may use limited language, speak only when prompted, or rely on memorized phrases (rote).

14. Trouble expressing needs, wants, or emotions. This may lead to frustration-based behaviours, including aggression, tantrums, or withdrawal.

15. Restricted interests or repetitive play. A child may fixate on a single toy, topic, or activity to the exclusion of others, such as lining up objects, being overly focused on parts rather than the whole toy, or watching the same video repeatedly.

16. Resistance to change or transitions. Unexpected shifts in routine may trigger distress or behavioural reactions. Flexibility may be a learned skill for some children.

17. Sensory sensitivities or seeking behaviours. Children may cover their ears to block sound, avoid textures, or crave movement and deep pressure input. These sensitivities often extend to eating habits as well. Some children show extreme food selectivity; refusing entire food groups, avoiding certain textures, or only eating foods of a particular colour, temperature, or brand. While many young children have food preferences, persistent or rigid eating patterns that limit nutrition or daily routines may indicate a need for support.

18. Avoidance of eye contact or discomfort with direct interaction. In some cultures, this is not a concern, but when paired with other social difficulties, it may signal a need for assessment.

19. Low frustration tolerance or rigid thinking. A child may become distressed when things don’t go as expected or may insist on things being “just so.”

20. Consistent sleep difficulties. Chronic trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, or waking frequently during the night is more than a typical sleep issue when it significantly affects the child’s mood, attention, or behaviour during the day. Poor sleep can lead to increased emotional dysregulation, aggression, inattentiveness, and learning difficulties. While sleep issues are common in children, persistent patterns may signal the need for behavioural intervention and structured routines that promote healthy sleep hygiene.

21. Delayed speech or language development. Limited vocabulary, difficulty forming sentences, or not speaking at all by a certain age are reasons to seek support.

22. Regression in skills. A child who previously had words, play skills, or social engagement but has lost them (e.g., stops talking, stops responding to their name, or stops making eye contact) may be showing a red flag that warrants attention.

23. Inflexible routines and strong resistance to change. Extreme distress when routines are disrupted or transitions occur (e.g., changing classrooms, meals, or expected order of activities). Insistence on sameness, needing to wear the same clothes, follow the same path, or line up toys in a specific way.

24. Unusual play or lack of functional play. Limited pretend play or not using toys as intended (e.g., spinning wheels of a toy car instead of pretending to drive it).

25. Hyperfocus or fixation on specific topics. Deep and repetitive interest in a narrow topic (e.g., only talking about train schedules or memorizing flags of countries), sometimes paired with difficulty shifting attention to other tasks or conversations.

26. Limited social referencing. Not checking in with caregivers’ facial expressions or reactions in unfamiliar situations (e.g., a child doesn’t look back at a parent when hearing a loud noise or entering a new room).

27. Self-injurious behaviour (SIB). Head banging, hand biting, face scratching, or other behaviours that result in self-harm or risk of injury. These behaviours are urgent red flags for professional support.

28. Aggression or property destruction. Hitting, kicking, throwing objects, or breaking things, especially when trying to communicate or cope with a demand or transition.

29. Overwhelming fears or phobias. Extreme or persistent fear of harmless situations (e.g., vacuum cleaner, public toilets, sound of water/TV, insects) that interfere with daily functioning.

30. Lack of safety awareness. Bolting into streets, climbing dangerous objects, putting unsafe items in the mouth (pica). Behaviours that show limited awareness of danger and may put the child at risk.

31. Poor self-regulation or emotional control. Very intense or prolonged meltdowns in response to minor changes or denials. Difficulty calming without external help (e.g., needing an adult to soothe after small frustration).

32. Difficulties with daily living skills. Trouble with dressing, toileting, handwashing, brushing teeth; beyond age-typical delays and despite repeated teaching.

    
    

It’s important to remember that no single behaviour defines a child. Every child develops at their own pace, and occasional challenges are a normal part of growth. But when these behaviours interfere with learning, safety, relationships, or independence or when they seem persistent and resistant to typical parenting strategies, it may be time to seek professional support. Many parents also report a “gut feeling” that something feels different or off, even if no one else sees it yet. Trusting that feeling and seeking support early can lead to better outcomes.

ABA therapy is not just for children with an autism diagnosis. It can support a wide range of needs, including attention, communication, daily living skills, emotional regulation, and social development. Our goal is never to “fix” a child, but to help them thrive by teaching skills that increase their independence and improve their quality of life.